Just
shut the fuck up! Get the hell outta my face and outta my head! I'm
sick and fucking tired of hearing your seducing voice creeping into my
ears over and over again and wearing out my brain 'til it hurts!
Telling me to do things I don't want to do, showing me things that I
definitely don't need to see, making me more fucked up than before.
Can't you just be normal and nice like everybody else and quit
bothering others who want things finally to be peaceful and
simple?????
Why did you go? Why did you come back? Why are you here in the first place?
Why me??
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!!!!!!!!!!!
Month: August 2005
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Man! What a way to feel on a Friday....
Excited, angry, thrilled, happy, nausea, regret, paranoid and curious
at the same time.
All got mixed up in the most fucking twisted way.
Couldn't they take turns and torcher me one day at a time?
And here comes another one!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
What to do if you're suddenly feeling blue?What a shitty, shitty, fucked up mood to live through a Friday...
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Yeah... Cynicism is good.....but only if you can handle one yourself.
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ticktockticktockticktocktick...
Die Zeit wird immer näher. Es wird bald Zeit sein. In ein paar Tagen werde
ich rausfinden. Ob es hier ist oder...nicht. Was komisch ist...es fühlt sich
nicht mehr so spannend wie früher. Nicht daß ich es nicht mehr mochte. Habe die
ganze Monat versucht um Geduld zu haben, nicht so viel Gedanken an ihm machen.Schwierig, ja. Habe noch immer viele Fotos von internet runtergeladet. Schöne,
süße, bunte Fotos. Mit Giraffen und Elefanten. Ein gelbes Entchen war auch
dabei. So süß, so lieb.... Die Wände werden eine Kombination von weiss, sanft
gelb oder grün sein. Ich kann mich schon vorstellen wenn... Ach, reiss dich zusammen!Okay..okay! Aber es geht ja schon besser, oder? Hoffentlich wird alles gut
sein. Wenn’s nicht...na ja... Dann muß ich halt einen anderen Weg finden.... Hoffentlich
wird’s diesen Monat klappen. Ich drücke fest die Daumen.... Bete für mich,
allerseits.... -
No pain, no gain
It's THAT even true??????????????????? If it is, then what would I
possibly gain today??? Woke up this morning with quite a headache, got
mosquito bite on my lips and the ultimate thing would be.....
MY HUSBAND'S GIANT BOOT STEPPED ON MY TOE!!!!
Instantly, and I DO
MEAN INSTANTLY I cried. My heart raced and pounded and pounded and I
held my toe. And when I looked at it, it already bleeds and on the
surface of the nails they're white scratches. Maybe they're from the
shoe sole. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!! Now
it's swollen, feels numb and dried blood coming out from the nails
So can anybody tell me WHAT WOULD I GAIN TODAY???????????????? ANYBODY??
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It depends on how you look at things...
My good friend shared his latest feeling & fling to me the other
night. Apparently he was kinda in love. I was pretty excited to hear
it. Not sure why. Maybe becoz I never thought I would witness the day
he's in love & I think the girl likes him too.
That afraid-of-commitment freak! Anyway, he told me he liked this girl
verrrrrrrrrrry much but afraid to admit it. To her & to himself for
that matter. It's sooooooooooo cute!
It's like he's fighting so hard with his own feelings. Of course then I
asked why did he has to freak out just becoz he's in love. And then
he said "I don't want to hurt her & I'm so afraid I'm going to.
What if one day I'm back to my unstable mind?"
Ah...the neverending, unanswered "What if"
question.... I think even if this world comes to an end, there'll be no
answer for that particular question. Then he said "I don't want
to make her sad." Sweet guy, eh? Yeah, I know
And like always, I told him what I thought about it, based on my experience:The saddest experience of my life was probably the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me.
Why? Becoz at least I was a part of something beautiful. Something that
have left such a deep mark in my heart must've been something really
meaningful to me once. If I never felt sad about it, I would've also
never experience that most thrilling phase in the first place. I never regret it, instead I always cherish it in my deepest heart. So I said, just give both of you a chance. If this girl likes you as much as you do, whatever happens, you'll probably make her happy in the end.
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'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says
Click this.. It's a good thing to read. Really.
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**Married people only**
Living together doesn't include either coz it's totally different than
actually being married. Trust me! Besides..my question would be: do
you become another person after you got married? Are there things you
used to do & don't do anymore after you tied the knot? It could start with the simple things like doing someone else's laundry or washing dishes for 2 (did I say "simple"
)
or closing the closet's door or turning off the bathroom light becoz
those kind of things seem to be constantly slipping out of your
spouse's minds (read: HUSBANDS!!!
). Ooooooooooor......stop going clubbing every friday nights, gossiping
with your girl friends over many cups of coffee & cheesecakes,
staying up late & peacefully watching chicks movies, last but not
least: restraining yourself from having flirtatious phone calls, SMS
& e-mails with....not your husband!What tickles me is this, do
you willingly do all those things for the sake of your love or is it
because you expect your spouse to do the same thing to you? Becoz if it's love, then I have no further comments. But if it's becoz you have certain expectations then...I don't know...Tell me straight, would your spouse really do the same things for you that you do for him/her? Would
he/she stop asking you where you have lunch everday or when you'll be
home just becoz you don't ask him/her the same question? Would he/she
calls becoz you call him/her? Would he/she stop "just being too nice"
to his/her women/men friends just becoz you think to respect your
spouse you set a certain distant to your friends? Would he/she tries to
have more patience with you just becoz you try to be more patient to
him/her?I don't think so. Out of my 29 years of life I've learned that you can't expect anything from anybody anymore.
Becoz if you do & things don't turn out as expected, you'll feel like
you've been lifted up to 7th heaven & thrown down with a high speed
rocket on your back. Don't want to sound so cynical but I think we
should do what we think it's right for ourselves & nobody elses. If
you feel good after doing some good, then so be it. Just don't expect
others to be as good to you coz in this world you'd never know what
kind of people you'll meet. Well, even if you do
change a lot of things in your life, think of it as for the best. You
do want to work it out with your spouses, right?
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The Perfect House
Yesterday we searched for a house of our own. This time it was kinda
serious. Becoz I've managed to "drag" my husband to sit down and talk
about our plans. About the options that we had, the budget etc.
Surprisingly he was quite excited to drive around the city and visited
the houses which I already found in the internet. Of course there were
a few complaints & whinings now & then but overall he was
sweet.
There was this little house... It was...almost perfect. But by the end of that day it was already sold out.
Well, it was too good to be true anyway. Our friend said maybe the
walls are about to crumble down anyway & there are lots of alien
termites in there.
Then there was this another house. Too expensive for our budget but we
went there anyway. The owner welcomed us & showed us around. The
building itself was actually in a good condition. But the
neighborhood... I definitely don't want to raise my children there. And
when I saw my husband's eyes I knew instantly that he would've agree
with me.
The other one is a brand new house & has an okay size & price
but very faaaaaar away. The traffic would be bad in the morning &
we still have to wait for another 1,5 years for the house to be ready.
Hearing it made my husband hesitated. Me, I always wanted to buy a new
one since living in somebody else's house sounded a bit creepy to me.
But then it was already dark. So we decided to call it a day.
On the way home & before we went to bed we talked about what other
options we might still have. We calculated our salaries etc. Whether to
save more for another year or buy an apartment in the city (very small
yet expensive but no traffic).
I'm still not sure about it. I guess there's still a lot of things to
think about & discuss. But there's one thing I'm sure of.I know
that no matter how my future house will look like or how far or near it'll be, it
will always be a perfect home to me as long as I'm with my own lovely little family.
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