October 3, 2005
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Are you going to be my greatest sin?
Do I deserve to be blamed? For not loving you or even to feel a thing?
Coz it was you who was there in my life yet then chose to disappear.
Stop. I already heard your 1000 reasons and excuses. I don’t need it
anymore and I surely don’t need any justification. What you have
done to me scarred me in the deepest place I myself could not reach or even understand. I don’t know why I don’t love you. I don’t know why I can’t. As
much as I’ve tried to forgive and to love you…it’s just not there.
Not that I stop trying… But what you’re doing right now doesn’t help our relationship either.
You’re pushing me away instead. Can’t you see that?? And these
differences we have, pushed me to the limit where I almost don’t care
anymore.
But still, am I the one who deserve to be blamed?
You
must know that I don’t have any regrets. In fact I’m utterly greatful.
If I’d given the chance to relive my life again, I’d still choose the
life that I have right now. Yet, I’m fully aware that my feelings for
you now are not supposed to be here in my heart. I know that it’s not
allowed. I know that it’s an unforgivable sin.But then again, why does it have to be MY sin and not YOURS????
